You know the days where your child comes home in tears or upset because kids will be kids and often open their mouths and say hurtful words without thinking first? As a parent, when we see our child hurting, we feel that pain too and our first instinct is to deal with “that kid.”
Just for a moment, let’s reverse the situation. Your child is the one being the “bully.” Chances are he or she is not coming home and saying “Mom, I was really nasty to someone today and I feel awful.” Right? The problem is, these nasty kids obviously have some issues going on in their life that they are NOT happy with. Therefore, they feel the need to project that “nastiness” on to other kids, even if those said kids are their supposed friends. It always seems that the drama is always worse with girls.
Speaking form experience when I was in junior high school, I was bullied. Not only by girls but by boys too. Since junior high those people have apologized for their shitty behavior, but those memories and feelings of hurt and sadness stick with a person forever. On the other hand, most bullies, also feel guilt later on in life, for their actions.
It’s a bad situation overall. What is the solution?
We need to join together, as parents, and take the time to always be aware of what is happening in the daily lives of our children. Busy lives we lead these days often distract us from what is truly important in life…… our families. Slow down parents, talk to your children, ask them how they are doing, listen to them and show them that you love them. Build that trust with them and grow that relationship stronger than anything. Your children need to feel safe. Educate them on both sides of the nasty – the giver and the receiver. Instill in them what behavior is right, kindness, compassion, caring about others. At the same time instill in them that being nasty will not be tolerated, and it attracts negativity and a life of misery. Actions that will haunt them later in life.
Get in the “Care” zone parents! Be that positive role model that your child needs, celebrate all his or her accomplishments, big or teeny. Build that trust and love on them as much as you possibly can. Check in on your own vibes, are you a negative nasty or do you wear positive pants? It all starts with the parents …… so please be aware and take the time to communicate with your child. Wake up and get in the “Care” zone today.
Compassion is the new nasty – live it, love it, learn it, teach it!